Curly's Love Potion
by Aiyta
Summary: Curly, in a final effort to discover where Rhonda's heart lies, ingeniously develops a 'love potion' that makes its drinker unable to resist their deepest desires for their true love. However, when things go wrong and half the class manages to take the potion, things get a little crazy!
1. Potions and Lotions

**Curly's Love Potion**

Curly, in a final effort to discover where Rhonda's heart lies, ingeniously develops a 'love potion' that makes its drinker unable to resist their deepest desires for their true love. However, when things go wrong and half the class manages to take the potion, things get a little crazy!

**A/N: **Just a fun little idea that popped to mind! Clearly, no potion like this exists and no brilliant scientific calculations of such truly exist (not that I'd know though, considering I failed science _miserably_ throughout high school)... but, hey, it's a cartoon so 'suspend your disbelief' for me, would ya?

**Disclaimer: **I hereby solemnly swear upon my favorite pair of jeans, _and_ these delicious raspberry lollies I am eating, that I do not posses ownership of Hey Arnold. I offer my sincerest, and heartfelt, apologies to anybody who thought otherwise. Thank you.

* * *

Thaddeus Gammelthorpe, better known as Curly to most, had no time to stop at the zoo this afternoon. It must be understood, that Curly was never one to miss unlatching the tigers enclosure without _very_ good reason. And today, he certainly had a good reason.

"Hey kid."

Curly glanced up at the eccentric, and slightly overdressed, older woman standing among an array of potions and shiny objects, in the small store on Vine Street. Sounds of bells chiming signaled that the door had closed behind him.

"Afternoon, Madame Blanche." he responded, bowing dramatically before scampering past her and down the small set of stairs to the basement space.

Curly had met Madame Blanche years ago, as an eleven year old boy, in the very noble search for a tougher acid to use on the newly upgraded padlocks at the City Zoo. Acids were not her primary forte, however, and as years passed he trained with her in her fine 'art' of spells. Of course, it hardly took long for him to discover that they were largely a collection of mind tricks and soda pop, but there was a _hint_ of valuable scientific formula.

Blanche's basement space, an overcrowded location filled with her latest vials and strangest ingredients, now served as Curly's 'lab'. Upon the far bench of lay his pride and joy, a bubbling substance still confined to a test tube. Proudly, he had called the developing tonic '_Curly's Love Potion_'. It had been months, almost a _year_ in the making, but _this_ very potion was the one way to finally determine if Rhonda Wellington Lloyd truly _did _love him, deep down.

Precisely eleven months had passed since he originally began his calculations, and with some help from an unsuspecting Phoebe along the way, he had been able to develop his greatest accomplishment thus far. He had even been clever enough as to trick Miss Heyerdahl, Hillwood High's brightest mind, into believing that the strangely complicated chemical formulas he presented her with were simply his science homework. Although, admittedly she _had_ been a little confused in regards to his teachers penchant for such advanced studies.

Curly approached the simmering green liquid, which after being left to rest for a painstaking six weeks in light of one final calculation issue, was about to receive its final ingredient. Frustratingly, after spending nights in the library, slaving over chemistry books, and bugging Phoebe mercilessly for her assistance, it had turned out that all the potion had needed for completion was a good old dash of lemon juice.

Immediately upon contact with the zesty lemon liquid, the bubbling green settled and transformed to a glowing amber colour. Curly grinned with delight, his precious formula was ready for trial. Reaching for his eyedropper, two small vials were filled with the potion and, with the lids screwed tight, Curly dropped one into his school bag and one into his coat pocket.

"Madame, I think you'll find I'm done with my use of your basement." Curly announced happily as he climbed his way back into the colourful shop, "Give me three more days to clean up and I'll be out."

The older woman raised an eyebrow, "I'm glad." she said in that typically mysterious tone of voice she enjoyed portraying, as though she held mystical secrets that she probably did not, "Now, as payment for your usage..."

"How much did you need?"

Madame Blanche frowned, and shook her head, "No monetary payment, boy." she insisted, "I simply want a vial of your potion."

He wondered briefly _why_ she would want such a thing, but rather than continue to entertain thoughts of old Madame Blanche having a love interest, he simply decided to honour her request. "Sure, but I need to test it first... to be completely sure of its accuracy."

"How do you plan to do that?"

Curly motioned toward the nearby alleyway, shrouded in shadows in the afternoon sunset, "Use it on a stray cat."

"Alright." Blanche shrugged, "If it works, I'll have a vial and that shall be all the payment I require."

Happy with such an affordable compromise, considering that missing shifts at the family business to work on this potion had rendered him rather low on cash, Curly nodded and exited the shop in the direction of his chosen alley.

Thankfully, he quickly happened upon a large group of stray cats, all rummaging their way through the trash cans and hissing at each other in their fight for food. Sneaking silently, a skill he had mastered during years of zoo break-ins, Curly approached a puddle of water nearby the felines and dropped one small portion of the liquid into the murky water.

Scruffy Tabby, as he immediately decided to name her, came to lap up some of the water just moments later, taking her time to drink in the refreshing hydration along with the essence of lemony love potion. Curly eyed his watch the moment Scruffy Tabby's tongue hit the water's surface, and he sat back and relaxed, in twenty minutes or less the mixture would hopefully begin to work its magic.

'_Curly's Love Potion'_ neither altered nor took anything of its taker, its single and only effect was to liberate the understanding and passions as to ones true love. Really, Curly felt that overall, his creation was somewhat of a public service. After all, years of wasted time, denial and holding back could be eradicated with one quick sip. Not that he intended mass distribution of his serum, at least not right now, his only goal at the present was to administer it to his darling, his princess, in the hopes that she felt for him, what he had always felt for her.

Fifteen minutes later, a loud meow drew Curly from his musings, and Rhonda fantasises, to look up at Scruffy Tabby, who had now made herself very friendly with a tom cat in a trash can. Tom cat, Curly observed, seemed rather pleased by these advances and had begun to purr. Grinning, Curly pulled Scruffy Tabby away, placing the feisty cat by _different _male, some three feet down the alleyway. To his delight, the cat in question was having absolutely none of his meddling, and simply returned to the tom cat by the trash can.

Curly was pleased, _delighted_ even, and with one final move, a long journey to an alley some four streets away, filled with other cats, he would have his definitive result.

"Show me what you got, Scruff."

Scruffy Tabby was noticeably not happy with her new location, and after staring at Curly for a few moments, and sniffing her new surroundings briefly, she stalked off down the street. She wasted no time, and took no detours, in her journey back to the original alley, and back to her favoured companion, who had looked a little lost and lonely in his trashcan before she jumped on in for the third time.

Cackling with happiness, something he hadn't done for quite a few years, Curly lifted his radiant amber creation to the skies. His potion worked, it ignited a passion for ones _true love_, and disregarded all others. After patting Scruffy Tabby and her new lover farewell, he scampered back toward Madame Blanche's, full of excitement.


	2. Devising and Dejection

Sunlight had barely peaked over the hills in the distance when Curly jumped from his bed the next morning. Truthfully, he'd hardly slept a wink, and sometime around 1 o'clock he'd found himself pacing backward and forward willing for daybreak to come quickly. Sleep or no sleep, however, Curly was _full_ of energy, and for that very reason he set out early in an attempt to walk to school, rather than taking the bus like usual.

Walking did come with the added bonus of some peaceful solitary time to equate his best chances at having Rhonda consume the potion. He was seriously considering attempting a risky break into her locker to fill her water bottle with it when he noticed Gerald and Phoebe rounding the bend together.

"Hey man!" Gerald greeted him with a hearty slap on the back, something Curly had thankfully become a little more used to. It was well known that Gerald's greetings had knocked him over more than once back in Freshman year. Although, it was better to be knocked over by them than to have an arm broken, Eugene could attest to that.

Phoebe smiled sweetly, "May I enquire as to your progress with your scientific calculations, Thaddeus?" she asked, pushing her thin blue glasses up the bridge of her nose a little.

Phoebe and Gerald had been together since eighth grade, and they were practically _everybody's _favourite couple. That said, they were very private people, Curly had never even seen them hold hands in front of others, let alone anything else. Today proved no difference, and despite their walking 'together' they remained a fair distance apart on the sidewalk.

"It went _brilliantly_." Curly grinned, unable to hide the enthusiasm from his voice, "I thank you for your help, Miss Heyerdahl."

"Of course, it was no problem at all." she assured him, tapping a finger to the rim of her glasses for a moment, "I do find it quite curious that your teacher would assign such advanced formulas in a standard level Sophomore classroom."

Curly shrugged his shoulders as nonchalantly as possible, "Very curious." he agreed, without elaborating any further.

Thankfully, it seemed Gerald's mind was elsewhere, "I wonder what's for lunch today..." he mused out loud on the other side of Phoebe, causing Curly to perk up. Lunch would be, above all, a perfect situation in which to administer his potion, and rather less risky than breaking into her locker.

"I believe today is beef burger day." Phoebe reminded him politely, causing Gerald to nod, and Curly to frown. Rhonda _hated_ beef burgers, Curly knew this as an absolute certainty, and there would be unquestionably no chance of her consuming one for lunch.

"I think I heard they're making milkshakes, too." Gerald continued, "Chocolate, strawberry or banana..."

Phoebe smiled at him, "That sounds good." she conceded.

Curly, who was rather blissful at the current moment, could hardly believe his luck. If there was one thing Rhonda would, without fail, consume for lunch is was a strawberry milkshake. Without a doubt, for Curly never had doubts when it came to Miss Wellington Lloyd, it was her _favourite_ flavour. It was simple, all that was necessary to have Rhonda take the potion was to ensure her milkshake cup ended up with a good dose of the amber liquid.

_Simple, _Curly thought to himself, _ridiculously simple._

Hillwood High School's entry gates had already passed them by, by the time Curly has stopped inwardly plotting and turned his attention back to the conversation. However, he noticed then that the attention of both his friends was no longer on him, nor each other, but rather on a commotion occurring in the quad.

"I swear, I _told_ him not to do this." Gerald groaned as they drew closer, and mingled with the crowd surrounding Arnold Shortman and Lila Sawyer.

Curly didn't have to hazard too much of a wild guess to assume what Lila's frowning, but apologetic, facial expression was for, nor why Arnold looked slightly exasperated.

"I'm ever so certain, Arnold, that I just don't like you in _that_ way." she had mumbled, rather wistfully, as the crowd broke out into little whispers around them.

It was hard _not_ to let out a little laugh, even if he hadn't wanted to, "He has the _worst_ luck with women." Curly deduced with a shake of his head.

Gerald, who Curly had expected to be a little more supportive, simply rolled in eyes at the comment, "Tell me about it." he agreed.

"Pardon me for wondering..." Phoebe spoke up timidly, glancing between Arnold in the centre of the quad, and Gerald standing by her side, "But didn't Arnold profess to be in love with the brunette cheerleader, Jessica, just last week?"

Vaguely, Curly could remember hearing something of the sort. Jessica was in their year, if he recalled correctly, fairly cute and sweet as sugar, but apparently _not_ into Arnold. Although, poor Arnold never seemed to catch a break in that regard.

"Yeah." Gerald scoffed, "I swear, my man has _no_ idea what he's doing."

Lila, at that moment broke away from Arnold, and from reiterating her point yet again, and walked out of the quad. Arnold simply stood there looking dejected.

"It's like he's lost or something..." Gerald concluded, clearly having thought this through on more than one occasion and after letting out a pained sigh, he ran a hand along his cornrows.

Phoebe's eyes snapped from Lila's retreating figure, across to somewhere just out of the quad. Curly wasn't entirely certain what had caught her attention until she spoke up, "Oh sorry." she had blurted quickly, almost like she was in a panic, "I see Helga, I'm afraid I must leave to... uh, talk to her."

Gerald shrugged, and motioned for her to go ahead, "Sure thing babe." he assured her casually, "I better go 'comfort' Arnold in his 'time of need'..."

Feeling rather sorry for him, Curly pursed his lips a little, "Poor Arnold." he said, "Nursing his broken heart."

"Oh please, he'll be over it in no time." Gerald guaranteed him in return, administering another famous pat to the shoulder in assurance, "I promise you." and with that, both he and Phoebe left to seek out their respective best friends.

Curly watched for a moment as Gerald placed a hand to his forehead, greeting Arnold with a look of frustration that certainly indicated that Gerald was reminding him of his advice to _not_ do what he had just done. Across the quad he attempted to locate Phoebe and Helga, but they seemed to have disappeared, which wasn't entirely a surprise... Helga had proven a particularly elusive person at times.

No further time for pondering Arnold's heartbreak, or Helga's ninja skills, proved available however, as the school bell then rang and Curly had to begin making his way to Math class.


	3. Classmates and Commotions

English class, one filled with his childhood classmates as it so happened, occurred directly before lunch time in a room not too far from the cafeteria. Curly reveled in the fact that everything seemed to be working out infinitely _perfect_ for him today. Surely, if his luck continued English class would pass quickly and he would soon be on his way to administering, and reaping the benefits, of his love potion for Rhonda.

Curly glanced up as he entered the small classroom, and as had become the usual, Rhonda flicked her gaze to him as he walked in. Her hazel eyes wandered his face for a moment, before she snapped her attention away and ran a hand through her shiny black hair. However fleeting Rhonda's looks might have been, those wavering half-second moments had become the very basis, and rightly so he figured, in his belief that she truly _did_ feel something for him. Resisting the urge to stare at her pretty face, or check out the sweeping neckline of her red shirt, Curly took his regular seat behind his Princess and Nadine.

Settling back into his chair, he silently observed the classroom. Greeting Rhonda and Nadine was a foolish idea, and he knew that as he had _tried_ it more times than he cared to count. Ultimately, Rhonda would act horribly displeased at his acknowledgment, whilst Nadine would roll her eyes at her best friend, and then proceed to return Curly's welcome as politely as Rhonda would allow. Often, however, poor Nadine found herself on the end of a very pointed lecture about not conversing with '_Curly of all people_', and thus, he didn't feel the need to continue putting her through it.

Moments after Curly settled into his seat, Eugene bounded into the classroom, his curly orange hair bouncing as he gestured wildly to Sheena and Park on either side of him. As usual, their topic of discussion was the upcoming school production of _RATS_ which all three were heavily involved in.

"I'm excited to do the final rehearsals." Park said cheerfully as they strode to their seats, his old blue sweater looked far too small for him now, but Curly figured he must have felt rather attached to it, "I can hardly believe there's only a week to go!"

Sheena adjusted the yellow floral clip in her short brown hair, "I'm excited to reveal costumes as tonight's meet." she told them with a grin.

Eugene nodded and took a seat across the classroom from Curly's current location, "It's going to be _fantastic_." he assured them both brightly, his bright and chirpy demeanor having suffered no lessening since their youth.

Toward the back of the room, Sid now looked up from his phone, "Hey, when _is_ that happening?" he asked offhandedly, lifting his blue cap to ruffle a hand through his messy black hair, "I promised some hot freshman girl I'd take her to it."

"A freshman girl?" Rhonda scoffed, flipping her long black hair as she turned to frown at him, "Do you _have _no tact?"

Sid simply shrugged, "She's a nice girl." he offered, probably knowing it wouldn't do him much use.

Her frown only increased, "You're as bad as Arnold." she declared, in a tone that to anybody who didn't know her as well as these people did, would have come off as rude. Curly smiled a little, no matter how pretentious she may come across as; Rhonda _did_ look out for her friends.

Arnold and Gerald chose that precise moment to enter the classroom, and clearly they made it in time to catch Rhonda's comment. Gerald smirked, but Arnold looked rather un-amused, "What does that mean?" he questioned her, raising an eyebrow as he waited for an answer.

Actually, Curly was beginning to think that Gerald may have had an incredibly valid point about their favourite 'do-gooder', in regards to his earlier comments in the quad. Arnold looked _incredibly_ relaxed for a guy who had suffered through the rejection of two 'loves' over a period of no more than one and a half weeks. Maybe, Curly thought, he would look further into that another time.

"Rhonda was paying you out for being rejected." Harold offered as way of explanation from the back of the classroom, whilst still chewing on a nutty candy bar. It was a miracle the way his metabolism had managed to catch up with his eating habits once he hit puberty, he ate more than ever but was no more than 'chubby'. Astonishing.

Nadine frowned, "No, I don't think that's what she was trying to say at all." she informed him shortly, placing down a jar and its resident insect onto her table. Rhonda flinched, but to her credit, she was getting far better with all things insect related these days.

"Oh?" Harold retorted, scratching his head with a look of great confusion, "I thought that's what she meant."

"I think what Rhonda means, is that they both chase around nice, pretty girls that they don't truly feel strongly for..." Sheena said as joyfully, and politely, as possible. Beside her, Eugene and Park both nodded in agreement with her assessment of the situation.

Rhonda nodded, "Exactly Sheena, exactly."

Arnold, who was looking mildly offended by their evaluation of his love life, spoke up again, "Hey! I feel strongly about them." he defended himself with a huff.

From the back of the classroom Sid, who probably should have been his sole supporter, let out a laugh, "Dude, you move on quicker than _I_ do." he pointed out. Curly had to admit, that was a fair statement.

"I don't know why you would want girls anyway." Harold's loud voice boomed again from the back of the classroom, nearby Sid, and he shook his head a little at the very thought, "They're stupid and complicated."

Gerald raised his eyebrows, "Bubba, we're sixteen, which makes _you_ almost twenty." he reminded him smoothly, "Don't you think it's time to get over your fear of women?"

"Unless you're gay!" Sid chimed in, smirking at his friend, evidently knowing that such a comment would bother him.

"I'm not gay!" Harold declared quickly, and very loudly, almost standing up to prove his point, "Eugene's gay!" he resorted to the age old assumption of Eugene's sexuality, and pointed a finger toward the gangly boy in the purple shirt.

Eugene sighed, "Guys, I'm _not_ gay." he said, for just about the hundredth time since the beginning of High School.

Murmurs could be heard across the classroom at that stage, some in support of Eugene's case and others still rather disbelieving. Curly, honestly, couldn't say he knew for certain, but if he _had_ to guess – he'd assume Eugene was in fact, gay.

Lila breezed into the classroom at that moment, with Stinky at her side and it almost caused a collision between the two of them and Arnold and Gerald, who had yet to sit down.

"I'm ever so certain you should leave Eugene alone." Lila said in an attempt to make peace, as Arnold and Gerald took a seat in the front row and Stinky motioned to a table across the room for himself and Lila.

Harold chuckled from the back of the room as they moved across the classroom, "Ooooh... it's _Li-la_ the heart-breaker." he chanted immaturely at the short girl.

"Yeah, come to tell Arnold you don't like him, like him again, have you Lila?" Sid teased, leaning back against his chair with a grin.

Lila frowned at him, raking her fingers through her shoulder-length auburn hair, "No, I've come to attend class." she said matter-of-factly.

"Ain't ya'll bein' a little harsh on Arnold, falls?" Stinky drawled, sitting his tall 6'2" frame into a chair beside Lila, "Leave tha boy alone, he's heart broke."

Across the room, Arnold let out a loud sigh, and looked further exasperated, "I'm _fine_." he insisted.

Curly could, very faintly, hear Gerald mutter under his breath, "Exactly my point." a comment to which Arnold shifted in his seat to glare at him.

Shuffling, and the loud clicking of heels was heard in the nearby corridor, before a shrill voice called out "Class!" and in stepped Ms Northing, her long black skirt swishing as she bustled to the front of the classroom, "Everybody to your seats, ready for our lesson."

Phoebe, at this point, rushed through the doorway in a flurry, panting a little in her effort to arrive on time, "I apologise profusely for being late, Ms Northing." she said as she caught her breath, "I had very important matters to deal with."

Ms Northing raised a questioning eyebrow, "What matters, Miss Heyerdahl?"

"Personal ones." she responded quickly, not offering any further information, and lulling the classroom to a silence for a brief moment.

"Is something of concern to you, Miss Heyerdahl?" Ms Northing ventured when no further explanation was provided.

Phoebe shook her head decisively, "No, it was a friend." she stated quickly, and her eyes flicked across the room, landing on Lila who Curly noticed immediately sunk into her chair as though she were guilty of a crime.

Ms Northing didn't seem pleased by her explanation, but knowing Phoebe was an honest student, she relented, "Very well, Miss Heyerdahl, take a seat please."

Curly watched with great interest as Lila and Phoebe made eye contact, and Phoebe gave a short nod, as she passed by. Actually, he thought it may be appealing if _Helga_ were to enter the classroom now, she always managed to make things interesting. Not that it was going to happen, however, Helga was far too talented for a standard grade literature class.

Oh well, soon enough lunch would arrive, and he'd have all the entertainment he needed from his beloved Rhonda.


	4. Drama and Distractions

An hour of English class had passed, an hour of Curly amusing himself by watching the second hand circle the clock above the whiteboard, whilst Ms Nothing droned on about Romeo and Juliet. Apparently it was her favourite romance story of _all time_, and she felt the need to _remind_ them of that about once every ten minutes. However, speaking of things that happened in ten minutes time, Curly was pleased to note that it was now merely ten minutes until the lunch bell. Meaning it was time for him to plan his escape from the classroom, and it was for that reason alone, that he was actually _glad_ about the topic of discussion, because it gave him the perfect opportunity to cause a distraction.

"Hey, Ms Northing." he piped up, and since this was the first time he'd spoken since entering the classroom over an hour beforehand, everybody's attention was on him immediately, "Did you know we did Romeo and Juliet as a play in the fourth grade?"

Ms Northing blinked, and stepped back a little, and a few of his classmates eyed Curly rather unhappily for his contribution. "Oh my, is that true?" she almost _squealed_, "Well, that's fabulous, did you all enjoy it?"

Gerald immediately snorted, possibly attempting to hold in a bout of laughter, "Arnold did." he managed to choke out in amusement.

"I did _not_." Arnold countered, with a piercing glare.

Harold groaned a little at the back of the class and scrunched his face up, very unattractively, "Oh yeah, you had to kiss Helga the Horrible." he reminded everybody, very loudly. Helga wasn't really 'horrible' anymore, not even close, but the nickname had just _stuck,_ and she seemed to like it that way anyhow.

"No." Rhonda cut in abruptly, "_She_ kissed _him_, Arnold was dead, remember?"

He shook his head at her question, "Nup, don't really remember at all." he admitted, which came as no surprise to anybody.

Sid chuckled to himself, leaning back against his chair again, "I remember how _long_ she kissed him." he stated, rocking slightly.

"Helga was very dedicated to her role." Phoebe reminded them sternly with a frown, "I think you'll recall her causing the production to be quite a success, reviews wise."

Stinky nodded, "Well, I felt sorry for 'em both." he offered, "On a counta how much they hated each other 'n' all."

"_Thank you_, Stinky." Arnold said pointedly, motioning toward him, "At least _you_ understand."

Gerald, who was clearly the 'target' for Arnold's comment, frowned at his best friend, "Hey, I understand!" he said in his own defense, before continuing on about something that Curly never managed to hear, because by that point, he had slipped past his classmates and made it out into the corridor.

Curly let out a sigh of relief, listening briefly to the faint murmurings of controversy emitting from his classroom, as he leant against the hallway wall. Ahead, just a few steps away, he could see the cafeteria doors, swinging as two cafeteria ladies entered the kitchen area. Creeping closer, he identified the two doors as his only option for entry, and so when the two ladies turned their backs for a mere second, he slipped in and hid behind a stack of crates.

"Mandy, you got the mystery meat?" a short and stocky lady called out to her co-worker, as Curly began to search the expanse of the kitchen with his eyes, looking for the location of the shake mixture.

A taller woman, with grey hair in a thick bun emerged from the fridge section, "Eh, I figure we'll re-serve yesterdays, the kids ain't gonna know." she drawled, sounding as uninterested in her job as humanly possible. Curly grimaced at the very _thought_ of out of date mystery meat, and vowed to later warn his classmates to stay well away from it.

Conveniently, as he took the time to consider the ramifications of disgusting meat, a large stainless steel unit was wheeled directly past his line of vision, the large words '_Shake Station'_ written across the top. Two of the ladies, the short stocky one and another with curly red hair, shifted the large unit into place upon the 'desert area' space and Curly noted the three flavours marked clearly at the top of each lid. Complaining as they did so, mostly about how _very_ heavy the containers were, the ladies filled the vats with milk mixture and added the relevant flavourings to the correctly labelled dispenser.

Once having the _Shake Station_ in place, and slapping a good dose of minced patties and day-old mystery meat into the serving area, Curly watched the _dedicated_ cafeteria staff busy themselves with lazily slopping mixture into pudding cups for tomorrow, or scrolling through Facebook on their phones.

_Thankfully_, because he didn't wish to become any further acquainted with the habits of the kitchen hands, the lunch bell soon rang and Curly could hear the sounds of students approaching the cafeteria area. Knowing that Ms Northing had a penchant, a very strong one indeed, for letting the class out late, Curly was safe in the knowledge that it would be easier to single Rhonda out once they made it to the cafeteria.

Noting the continued inattentiveness of his dear cafeteria friends, Curly crept from behind the crates to crouch in the space beside the machine and after getting himself situated, listened for the sounds of people using the shake dispenser. Red-headed lady, who was clearly a Facebook addict, later came over to fill the machines once more with milk mixture and flavouring, before returning to her social media duties on the other side of the kitchen.

Considering the increasingly infrequent usage of the machine after around eight minutes of waiting, Curly lifted himself to peer over the machine slightly, now able to watch those passing by and filling their cups with shake mixture. Reaching into his pocket, and drawing out the all-important vial of potion, Curly assessed his best plan of attack. He was immediately glad to see that the opening of the cups was large, far large enough to drop a decent amount of liquid in from his spot above the machine, without being too difficult of a target.

Sheena was the first to appear from Ms Northings class, filling her cup quickly with the strawberry flavoured shake mix before heading to the serving area to grab a plate full of lettuce. Curly figured this was very much a good thing for Sheena, as her vegetarianism had spared her from the horrors of the bad mystery meat. As she wandered over to fill her plate, Curly filled an eyedropper with liquid from the vial, and readied himself for Rhonda's arrival, whenever it should come.

Stinky and Lila were the next to enter the cafeteria, chatting happily about sheep and goats, as they usually did. Curly hovered as Stinky selected the chocolate shake flavour, and Lila went directly for the strawberry.

"Hey kid!" Curly heard from behind him, causing him to flinch suddenly, "What are you doing in here?"

Fully registering _who_ was yelling at him, and the extent of trouble he would no doubt be headed for, Curly jumped suddenly and dropped the entire vial of love potion into the strawberry shake mix, before screaming in horror and dashing as quickly as he possibly could, out of the kitchen.

"Ay, get back here!" shouted the older lady, with the messy grey bun, as she peered out into the corridor Curly had run into. Curly, who had hidden himself directly behind the swinging door, crossed his fingers that she was as lazy in hunting down kids as she was in serving mystery meat.

Luckily, she was, and after shouting down the hallway uselessly for a few more seconds, she gave up entirely and returned to her business of messily preparing pudding cups. Curly let out a breath in relief, and quickly rushed toward the cafeteria to observe the unfolding damages of the incident...

* * *

_A/N: _Dear anybody who works in a cafeteria who reads this... I'm sorry, I like you I swear! haha. Do forgive my use of the 'lazy lunch lady' cliche, but it _is_ funny ;)


	5. Shakes and Mistakes

Decorum be damned, Thaddeus 'Curly' Gammelthorpe burst through the Hillwood High cafeteria doors like his ass was on fire. Lila had just completed filling her cup with strawberry shake as his eyes settled on the machine, and he let out a pained groan of defeat. Obviously, he was incredibly aware that this was bound to become an absolute mess, after all, he hated to think just how many more of his classmates had yet to pass through.

Unfortunately, there was not much he could do but sit and watch, as Harold Berman next ambled through the double doors and, with an expression of glee, proceeded to fill his cup with one of _each _three flavours.

Curly estimated that, beginning with Lila Sawyer, it would only be twenty minutes until romantic unrest erupted through his friends. In the very back of his mind, situated in a dark little corner he didn't wish to recognise, he knew he could cause unrest and compromise the shake machine. Lila and Harold were lost causes, but it wasn't beyond his means to somehow 'spill' the mixture and spare the rest of his classmates.

However, whilst he stored that little idea away for future use, he was absolutely unwilling to compromise his master plan until Rhonda had consumed the potion as intended. And so, for now, he would simply sit back and watch... and take down names.

Sid was the next to enter the cafeteria, followed closely bu Eugene and Park, who he was chatting to a little bashfully. No doubt their conversation had a lot to do with Arnold strongly encouraging Sid to apologise for his earlier remarks about Eugene's sexuality. Curly was rather dismayed, however, to note that they all showed great delight in strawberry shakes. So, with a grimace, he added their three names to his growing list.

Two minutes later, if that, Curly was grimacing and honestly wondering if _everybody_ at this school loved strawberry flavoured milkshakes. Apparently they did, because Arnold and Gerald sauntered directly over to the strawberry dispenser nozzle the very moment they entered the cafeteria. How fabulous. Unfortunately, Curly didn't feel much better after realising that if Phoebe turned out _not _to be Gerald's true love, then things could get nasty. Nasty like, Helga Pataki 'revenge-on-best-friends-ex-boyfriend' type nasty.

Helga and Phoebe entered a few moments later, side by side, as usual. Curly, at least for a brief moment, breathed a sigh of relief, confident that neither of the two would drink the 'infected' shake mix. After all, Helga was _very_ allergic to strawberries, and Phoebe politely avoided them entirely when in her best friend's presence. He tapped his pencil against the small notepad in front of him, trying to imagine Helga, of all people, under the effects of a love potion.

By the time the doors flew open again, he had decided that it probably wouldn't have made much difference anyhow, Helga didn't seem like the type to harbour crazy romantic desires.

Thrilled, Curly noted that the doors this time, had given way to Rhonda and Nadine, chatting away loudly as they headed for the shake machines. Rhonda happily eyed the strawberry mix and without hesitation, she filled her cup to the very top. Nadine, on the other hand, opted for the banana flavour, and Curly was relieved to have spared another unintentional victim. As Rhonda strutted her way to her seat, which distracted him for a good few seconds, Curly knew it was time to stage an intervention before anybody else could touch the afflicted milk product.

Quietly, and carefully, as possible, Curly moved from the cafeteria and slunk down the hallway to the closest sports equipment closet. A kickball caught his attention first, and after scooping it up, Curly slammed the door shut behind him and raced back toward the double doors.

Curly could have (he felt it would have been comforting, somehow) hit his head against the wall when he returned to witness Peapod Kid and Brainy over at the shake machine, Peapod filling up with strawberry and Brainy hovering close by. Peapod Kid soon finished, and gestured for Brainy to fill his cup, but the tall pale boy shot a curious glance in Curly's direction, which made him falter for a second, and back to the shake machine, before moving his cup and opting for banana instead. Frowning, and clutching the kickball a little closer, Curly wondered _how_ Brainy always seemed to know _everything_. Honestly, it was creepy.

However, greater problems than Brainy's odd behavioural tendencies were at hand, and recalling his mission, Curly kicked the ball in his possession as hard as possible in the direction of the shiny silver shake machine. With great satisfaction, which Curly admitted freely to himself was half the lure of such a plan in the first place, the ball collided with the silver cylinder housing the strawberry mix and it rocketed to the ground. Pink milky substance covered the chequered floor in an instant, and the entire student population in the cafeteria paused to look at the damage.

"Woah..." Curly said nonchalantly as possible, whilst several people eyed him suspiciously, "_Who_ kicked that?"

Nobody brought it, of course, and they rightfully stared at him like he was nuts, but Curly could not have cared less, he was undoubtedly accustomed to it. Rhonda's gaze met his briefly, and she looked a little intrigued, as far as Curly could discern, but she flicked her eyes away in an instant. Curly shrugged, that woman was _impossible_, but no matter, she had but twenty minutes left to remain so.

Instead of mulling over the subject of Rhonda, or his fellow classmates stares, Curly trundled over toward the messy lake of strawberry liquid and politely offered his help to the distressed cafeteria ladies.

"I'll help you clean that up, ladies." he offered smoothly, to which he received thankful looks from the lazy redheaded Facebook addict.

The older lady with the greying hair frowned, probably thinking he looked familiar, but all she responded with was, "Thanks kid, go get a mop, would ya?"

And so, with that Curly marched off toward the Janitors Closet to procure a mop, and thus help to clean away any remnants of the romantically enhanced shake spillage. After all, once he had finished cleaning the mess, it would certainly be approximately twenty minutes since the first lot of potion was consumed... and things would start to get _very_ amusing indeed...


	6. Confessions and Confusion

Pandemonium had begun, in its first stage, the very moment Curly exited the double doors of the cafeteria and made his way into the sunshine. Basketball was not a big thing at Hillwood High, a decent number of people played for the district team, and a few more were casual participants but it was a spot most were simply not interested in. And, that was exactly why, when Curly noticed a significant gathering of his classmates over by the basketball courts, he could be almost certain that strawberry milkshakes had a _lot_ to do with it.

Stinky Peterson's head was the first thing he saw, because he was the tallest person in the area by far, and the expression of pure confusion across his features was obvious. Two more steps, and Curly could see Lila Sawyer, practically wrapping herself around Stinky's left arm and gazing up at him expectantly.

"Very interesting..." Curly mumbled to himself, and he briefly wondered how he hadn't ever picked up on _this_ before. Maybe people at Hillwood High were just good at concealing their feelings.

Lila, who had now raised herself on the balls of her feet, in a useless attempt to lessen their height difference, blinked slowly at Stinky, "Stinky, I adore you just ever so much." she said sweetly, her hands gripping a little together to his arm.

Stinky raised his free hand to scratch his head and run a hand through his short spiky hair, "I'm confused, Miss Lila." he drawled slowly in response, "Cause on a counta, I coulda sworn you only had them sorta feelin's for Arnold's strange cousin Arnie."

Reminded by the mere mention of Arnold Shortman, everybody in the gathered crowd peered around in an effort to locate him. After all, he _had_ just declared his love for Lila in the quad this morning, and now she was clinging affectionately to one of his good friends. Neither Arnold, nor Gerald, seemed to be there yet however, and so Rhonda stepped forward with great authority.

"Really, Lila, this is inappropriate." she warned bluntly, crossing her arms, "Doing this to poor Arnold, you only just rejected him this morning and now you're trying to run off with Stinky!"

Lila frowned immediately, and rocked on her feet a little, her grip on Stinky slackened for the first time, "I do think it feels just oh so wrong..." she admitted, her frown only increasing, "But, I simply don't think I can help myself."

"My _word._" Rhonda huffed in response, clearly letting her distaste for the circumstances show. Curly would have chuckled, and thought about how 'unable to help herself' _Rhonda _would soon be too, in approximately five or so minutes, if it weren't for the fact that he was already feeling guilty over the situation.

Nadine placed a calming hand on Rhonda's shoulder, "I think it's okay if she likes Stinky." the blonde girl reasoned politely, "I mean, she shouldn't have to avoid him just because of Arnold's feelings."

"Yeah, Nadine's right." Sid piped up from nearby, still dribbling a basketball every now and again as the scene continued on, "But, what about Arnold's _cousin_, she still hasn't answered that!"

Lila nodded in Sid's direction, "I understand your concern, but I am ever so honest when I say I have not felt that way for Arnie in a very long time."

Beside her, Stinky seemed to mull it over for a few more moments, before leaning down slightly and smiling at the small auburn haired girl on his arm, "In that case, I reckon' I can say I like ya too, Miss Lila." he admitted with a slight grin. His comment was rewarded with a bright smile from the country girl and she attempted to push further up on her toes, whilst he leaned further down, to press a chaste kiss to each other's lips.

Immediately, gasps were heard among the spectators, and not due to the kiss itself, but rather the fact that Arnold and Gerald had meandered their way over. Sid saw them approaching first, and gave his ball a few extra bounces before speaking up, "Uh-oh guys, Arnold's here." he warned, in his trademark panicky tone of voice.

Lila was the first of the two to respond, turning sheepishly to face Arnold, whilst he simply raised an eyebrow at the events unfolding before him.

"Oh, hello there Arnold..." she began to explain awkwardly, in a voice of heightened sweetness that made Curly, and probably everybody else, cringe a little, "I hope oh so very much I have not upset you with my behaviour..."

Curly felt guiltier by the second, poor Lila looked a painful mix of horrified and apologetic, and Stinky was probably feeling much the same.

Gerald let out a deep contemplative noise, "Uh, what exactly _is_ going on here?" he ventured carefully, roaming his eyes across the crowd.

"It appears that Lila has romantic feelings for Stinky." Phoebe explained diplomatically to her boyfriend, from her position across the court by a strangely silent Helga, "Stinky, in turn, appears to reciprocate those sentiments."

Arnold was instantly the new recipient of Gerald's rapt attention, but the blonde haired boy simply responded with a shrug. "Good for you." he said casually in Lila and Stinky's direction, which made people blink and double-take, because it was entirely sincere.

"_What?_" Rhonda cried out, as though she'd been expecting some of kind of blood bath to ensue from this confrontation.

"I'm really not bothered." Arnold clarified.

Gerald huffed a little, "Figures." he groaned as sarcastically as possible, but Arnold seemed to just be ignoring his best friend for now. Curly supposed that was probably the best course of action anyway.

Slamming of doors, big, heavy cafeteria doors, sounded before anybody could respond to Gerald's comment and out of them burst Harold Berman, with a determined look on his rounded face.

"I LOVE PATTY SMITH!" his deep voice boomed across the courts, all the way to the benches on the lawns, and probably over to the quad.

Several people's attention rapidly turned from Harold's approaching figure, to the grassed area, where it become obvious that Patty was currently sitting. Curly noted that she looked startled, if not a little confused, and a few parts disbelieving. She was now, however, looking over toward the courtside area with wide eyes.

Sid put up a shot, which bounced off the backboard, "We _know_ that, Harold." he said with a roll of his eyes.

Harold, who had been bustling toward them, slowed his stride considerably at that comment, and walked over scratching his head slightly, "You do?" he wondered.

"It sure was mighty obvious." Stinky informed him bluntly, with his arm now firmly planted around Lila's waist, even if it did mean he had to bend a little.

"Oh..." was Harold's only, slightly stunned reply, because apparently he had thought himself rather good at hiding it.

Helga shifted slightly, and looked at him incredulously, "Well, what are you standing there for, Pink Boy?" she spoke up, for the first time Curly had heard the _entire day_, probably because Patty was a good friend of hers, "She's over there, and she looks a little shocked!" she finished, jerking her thumb in the direction of Patty's location on the grass.

"Right." Harold mumbled to himself, "Madame Fortress Mommy." and with that, the determined stride had returned, and he was on his way toward the tall brunette girl.

Curly and everybody else, situated at the basketball courts, were unable to overhear the discussion between the two, but they observed it readily. Patty stood slowly as Harold approached, and stepped back with a wary expression as he began to speak. A few words were uttered from both side, before Patty offered him her hand, and they made their way, arm in arm, toward the benches by the field.

"All of these sudden romantic gestures seem rather odd." Phoebe declared thoughtfully after a moment of complete silence among the classmates.

Helga, standing beside her, frowned and said, "Tell me about it... let's get out of here Pheebs."

Phoebe nodded in consent, "Leaving!" she chirped happily as they made their way back toward the quad together. Chatter began between the remaining teenagers standing by the courts, and Lila and Stinky resumed making eyes at each other.

Curly frowned, because the guilt was still there, and even if things had worked out this time around, everything was getting a little out of control. He _needed_ to develop an antidote to the potion, that much was plainly clear, so as to stop his classmates blurting declarations of love all over the campus. Obviously, anticipation to witness Rhonda's reaction to his potion was high, but Curly reasoned quickly that he could still be wrong about her. _And,_ if he had to watch her fawn over somebody else for the duration of the potions effects, then he would want a cure _close by_ indeed.

With that realisation, and a little sigh, Curly spun on his heel and wandered off toward the library. It was time for more research.


	7. Research and Revelations

Curly shoved the large science text book from his view, letting it hit the pile of six previously rejected publications to his right hand side. It may not have been productive, and probably wasn't doing his brain function any favours, but he immediately decided banging his head against the desk would make him feel better. Surprisingly it did, not counting the minor headache that resulted. He groaned as he lifted his head once more, his eyes skimming the notepapers riddled with failed calculations, listed one after the other.

In fact, he was halfway through reasoning to himself that simply letting his classmates run wild with romantic abandon might not be such a bad idea after all, when he overheard a deep voice coming from the nearby student lounges.

"Hey Mark, you heard the news?" the low, deep voice of a guy who Curly recognised as a Senior on the school baseball team, sounded. His friend, Mark, who was more than likely also on the team, looked up from the book in his hands and frowned slightly.

Tapping his fingers against the page a little, Mark nodded, "Yeah, Park, that Junior kid..." he started slowly, and Curly craned his neck forward in order to hear better, "He's gay."

Forgetting to properly intake air, and choking on the sudden lack of oxygen, Curly gripped at the table with wide eyes and both of the Seniors looked around curiously, trying to find the source of the strange coughing fit. Luckily, he managed to slide down in his seat and look unassuming by the time they peered in his direction.

Satisfied that the coughing fit was not coming from nearby, non-Mark turned his attention back to the conversation with his friend, "I saw him get rejected." he said with a slightly remorseful expression, "_Big time_."

Curly winced, and almost reinstated the activity of slamming his forehead on the wooden desk, so much for his theory that the potion wasn't hurting anybody. Mark scoffed a little, flipping a few pages over in the book he was holding, "Yeah, it was weird." he said thoughtfully, "I coulda sworn the redhead was gay, too"

"Nahhh..." non-Mark clarified airily, with a little wave of his hand to dismiss the thought entirely. Meanwhile, Curly's eyes hurt, because he couldn't consciously decide between blinking rapidly or sitting in a eyes-wide-open type stupor, because this was, well, _unexpected_. "The klutzy kid told the Asian he's in love with some chick."

Feeling concerned that he might possibly be experiencing a warped daydream, brought about by excessive cramming over scientific formulas, Curly pinched himself _hard_, just to ensure that he was in fact experiencing _real life_. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately... he didn't really know, the pinch hurt, and Curly was resigned to accept the fact that he had totally missed the signs on this one. Eugene, apparently, really hadn't been kidding all those years he insisted he _wasn't_ gay, and yet, Park certainly _was_ gay, but nobody had ever suspected.

"Oh, is that the tall brunette one?" Mark pondered, snapping Curly back to attention, "The hippie chick?"

In the lounge across from him, non-Mark nodded shortly, "_Yup_." he confirmed, rolling the 'p' slightly, "That one. Shame, cause she has a nice rack."

Curly frowned, and wondered how they _knew_ that, because as much sense as it may have made, Sheena's floral clothes weren't exactly figure-hugging by any standard. Maybe, in future, he'd keep an eye on these guys.

Mark lifted his eyes from the book again and raised an eyebrow, "Wait, so she likes the redhead kid back?"

"Guess so." Non-Mark concluded with a lazy shrug, relaxing back into his chair, "I saw them holding hands."

Mark dropped the eyebrow and nodded, making a humming noise of approval that cemented Curly's concern over what the heck these two did in their spare time, "Nice." he chuckled after he was finished with the sound effects, "Props to that kid."

"No joke man." non-Mark agreed, leaning to grab a book from his bag, and just like that, the conversation seemed to have finished.

Curly sat still for a moment; not entirely certain what to do, with his fingers tapping against the library study desk. He reached lazily for the closest text book and raised it to his head, slumping against the plastic cover with a groan. Not only had he forced Park's hand in revealing his sexuality, but the potion had certainly lead to his heart being broken. Curly _needed_ to formulate an antidote, sooner rather than later.

Dropping the heavy book back onto the table with a thud, Curly dashed from the library with urgency, leaving behind a pile of text books and a bundle of useless notebook pages. He was absolutely certain he would, at some stage, feel the wrath of angry-librarian-karma bestowed upon him for such an act, but he had no time to dwell on such things presently.

"_Hello_ Jessica." was very first thing Curly heard in the hallway as he exited the library, and it stopped him dead in his tracks, seeing as it was, without a doubt, Sid's voice. "You're looking _fine_ today, gorgeous." Sid continued suavely.

Immediately searching the corridor with his eyes, Curly tried to locate Sid... and Jessica, who was _definitely_ Arnold's cheerleader love interest from last week. Luckily, he did manage to identify Sid in quick time, but he wasn't exactly expecting to see Sid with his arms around two brunette girls who definitely were _not_ Jessica. Jessica, however, was a short way down the hall looking at him in pure disgust, whilst Sid introduced himself to the brunette's who he, very clearly, had never met before.

Curly was confused, absolutely puzzled, until the moment Sid unwound his arms from the two darker haired girls and hurried off toward a large _group_ of females in the quad.

"Drats!" Curly muttered to himself with a pained expression, scrunching his face in a way that was likely incredibly unflattering. It was now clear, thanks to Sid's antics, what the effects of the potion were if one had not yet _met_ their true love - serial flirtation and the attention span of a goldfish.

Knowing exactly what he needed to do, or rather _who_ he needed to see, Curly resumed his mad dash toward the quad, now in search of Phoebe. Outside the paved area of the quad, underneath the fern free, was Helga and Phoebe's usual lunchtime location, and with any luck, he would find her there. Curly decided, as he passed by a few rows of lockers and into the large open area, that if he ever managed to construct a time machine, he would immediately relive this day, and stick to the classic 'kidnapping' approach for Rhonda, rather than crazy potions.

Curly was just about to step out into the grassed area of the school when, out the corner of his eye, he witnessed Arnold Shortman pacing around the quad looking absolutely terrified. Actually, with the way Arnold was pacing and muttering to himself, he was making Curly himself look _sane_. It was apparent that, having consumed a potion designed to _free_ ones inhibitions, that Arnold's ability to fight his own desires literally shouted '_denial issues_' and it amused Curly greatly.

"Uh, Arnold?" Curly said with a slight snigger as he approached him from behind.

Arnold, who had been intensely focussed on the ground for the past few moments, jumped a mile at the sound of Curly's voice, and blurted out, "NO!" at an intense volume.

Curly raised an eyebrow and almost laughed, "Calm down." he smirked, "I'm looking for Phoebe, have you seen her?"

He _glared_, literally _glared_, which was something Curly had never once witnessed Arnold do, "Curly, I don't have time to help you with your problems, okay?" he said grumpily, running a hand through his long blonde hair.

"But I-" Curly tried to protest, even if he was trying his very best not to burst into a fit of laughter at Arnold's odd behaviour.

Arnold growled, "Curly!" he glared again, making it very clear that he desired only to return to his pacing, and his denial over... whoever he was in denial about.

"Hey." said a familiar feminine voice approaching from beside them, which caused Curly to turn quickly and Arnold to jump like he had seen a ghost. Curly blinked, and looked from Arnold who looked frozen like an ice statue, back to Helga who was playing with the sleeves of her striped pink and grey sweater. "Last I saw Pheebs, she was headed toward the football bleachers with Geraldo." she explained with a slight smile.

Curly grinned, "Why thank you Pataki." he said smoothly, and motioned toward Arnold who was still not moving, "He was no help at all."

Helga's gaze shifted in Arnold's direction, and she raised an eyebrow, "What's wrong with Football Head?" she asked, confused.

Before Curly could even formulate a good explanation, not that he truly had one besides '_oh I fed him a potion and he's a love sick idiot with denial issues'_, Arnold clenched his fists and spoke up, "Stop it!" he insisted crossly, "Just... _stop_ it." and with that, he bolted in the opposite direction.

Curly took a breath, and let his eyes follow Arnold in his hasty retreat, "Well, well, well, how _interesting._" he mumbled to himself.

Blinking, and looking back in his direction, Helga eyed Curly expectantly, "Uh, what was that?"

"I'm not entirely sure yet...not sure." Curly answered honestly, his lips pursing together with thought, before he recalled the reason for his hurried journey outside in the first place, "Thanks for the help, Hell Girl." he called out, as he spun on his heel and headed for the bleachers.

Helga shrugged casually, and fished out a worn copy of what Curly could safely assume was some classic work of literature, from her bag and sat down in the quad to resume her reading.


	8. Distraction and Denial

Curly scanned the expanse of Hillwood High School's bleachers, and then across the football field itself, not managing to locate a petite Asian girl with a bright blue sweater anywhere. A few of the football players were practicing plays, and nearby a small group of Freshman girls were huddled on the bleachers whispering and giggling, and attempting to hide the obvious fact that they were ogling the guys on the field. Assuming Phoebe must have vacated the area, Curly turned to continue his search elsewhere when he heard muffled giggles coming from beneath his feet.

Crouching down, and narrowing his eyes to look through the holes in the framework, Curly vaguely made out the shapes of a tall guy practically _devouring _a shorter girl with glasses underneath the bleachers. After taking a moment to shut his eyes tightly, and re open them to establish that, _yes_, Gerald really did have Phoebe pinned against a metal pole, and Phoebe really did look very pleased by her entrapment, Curly jumped down and make his way around toward them.

Clearing his throat, and shielding his eyes, to ensure his presence was known sooner rather than later, Curly heard the giggling and kissing noises come to a halt. Cautiously lifting his eyelids, Curly was met with Gerald's very unamused expression at his interruption.

"Hey Curly." he was greeted coolly by the tall teen, who removed his hand from underneath Phoebe's shirt, and instead dropping his head to continue kissing her neck.

Curly startled a little, considering he had hardly even seen Gerald hold Phoebe's hand over the past years, but continued on nonetheless, happy at least that they truly _were_ each other's true love and no heartbreak had occurred. "I just need to talk to Phoebe." he informed them, and Phoebe smiled distractedly at him.

"Oh, sure." Gerald relented, moving away from her a little so she could step forward, and wrapping his arms around her from behind instead.

Phoebe giggled as she moved closer, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and smoothing her sweater a little, "Yes, Curly, what exactly did you need to converse with me in regard to?" she asked politely.

Curly's reply was cut off by Gerald, who squeezed her tightly from behind, "Babe, you're so _smart_." he mumbled against her skin and resumed kissing her neck.

Feeling it best to simply ignore Gerald's interruption, Curly dragged a sheet of slightly scrunched paper from his pocket and held it out toward Phoebe. "I was hoping for your help with this..." he explained, the page filled with equations that had come close but not quite worked out.

Phoebe frowned slightly as she reached for the paper, flicking her eyes quickly over the pencilled numbers and symbols, "If I'm not mistaken, Thaddeus, this is an antidote remedy for your previous work?" she assumed correctly.

"Yeah, good old Mr Simms giving us _crazy_ homework." he nodded in response, earning himself a sympathetic look from Phoebe and a confused one from Gerald behind her.

"Harold's in Mr Simms class..." Gerald mumbled lazily, his words half silenced by the fact that he was trying to talk at the same time as kiss Phoebe's cheek, "... and he says it's easy."

Phoebe pursed her lips slightly, "It does seem awfully rigorous to assign such complicated data for study." she deduced, eyes still focussed on the sheet of equations held in her hands.

"Oh, come on..." Curly insisted, rolling his eyes a little, "Harold's an idiot, he thinks it's easy because he just doesn't pay attention." he reasoned, feeling guilty for continuing to lead Phoebe astray, and even a little for insulting Harold, but he didn't feel the truth would get him a fast response at the present moment.

Considering his statement for a moment, Phoebe nodded slightly, "His attention span _is_ remarkably concerning, indeed."

Curly cleared his throat, and shot her a hopeful smile, "Erm... anyway..." he encouraged.

Phoebe blinked, and looked up from the page, "Right, back to your formula." she said with confidence, pulling a pencil from her front pocket and tapping it against the sheet whilst Gerald continued his attempts to consume her neck, "I believe there may be two ways of approaching this...". Phoebe scribbled for a few seconds with the pencil, before lifting the paper up to show Curly, and his eyes lit up at her conclusion.

"That's _it_!" Curly cried with relief, clutching the paper back in his own hands, "You're a genius, Phoebe! Genius!"

Phoebe eyed him cautiously, tilting her head with a bemused expression, "Your devotion to your scientific studies is... admirable... Curly.." she said slowly.

Curly shrugged, resolving to share the truth with her later, "Well, see ya round, Phoebe, Gerald." he said happily, raising an eyebrow, "You get back to... whatever it was you were doing..."

Gerald grinned at the prospect of resuming his alone time with Phoebe and nodded in appreciation, immediately grasping Phoebe's hips and turning her back to face him once more. Curly shook his head and smiled as he turned around and made his way back to the quad, hearing a happy fit of giggles escape Phoebe a few moments later.

Scientific formula in hand, Curly had no other option but to return to his lab as soon as possible, at this point he felt it absolutely necessary to administer the antidote to his poor friends before further damage occurred. Absolutely every ingredient he required was already available at Madame Blanches, in enough quantity to ensure a decent proportion, the only challenge remaining was escaping the school undetected.

Helga looked up from her book and raised an eyebrow at him as he hurried through the quad, his sights set on the main corridor as a point of exit, but he waved her off and she shrugged. Mere seconds later, before he'd even properly entered the hallway, Curly found himself laying flat on his back, groaning from the impact of colliding with somebody.

"Ow." said a familiar, and unimpressed, voice and Curly blinked and sat himself up enough to see Arnold standing before him, with an arm outstretched to help Curly back to his feet.

Curly narrowed his eyes a little and considered his question very carefully, after all, Arnold was on edge today, "Uh, Arnold, might I ask what you're doing... in the corner here?"

Unimpressed with the question, Arnold snatched his back back quickly, and Curly almost toppled back to the floor once more. "_No_." Arnold answered tersely, "I don't think you need to _pry_ Curly, all I'm doing is standing here!" he said defensively, crossing his arms and letting out a strained huff of air.

Arnold left no time for further questions, glaring at Curly once more before stalking off toward the opposite side of the quad, still looking incredibly stressed. Curly shook his head as he straightened out his jacket and watched Arnold take the _long way_ around the quad, rather than walking across the middle like a regular, sane, person.

However, he had no time to be standing around contemplating how messed up Arnold was, so Curly set his sights back on the largely empty corridor in which he planned to make his escape through. Satisfied that such a feat would be easy to manage, he began to make determined strides toward the large entry gates. He didn't make it very far, however, until he felt a hand tug at his clothing and wound up being pulled forcefully into the janitors closet.


	9. Rendezvous and Regrets

Curly blinked uselessly in an attempt to adapt his vision to the darkness of his new confines, but it was simply doing him no good. Noting that various classmates, depending on who was smart enough to work it out, may be after his blood at this current moment, he decided attempting to escape may be a good strategy. However, his attempts to move only ended in a fall over a broom handle and a loud thud to the ground.

Groaning, he rolled over to note that the lights had been switched on, and Rhonda Wellington Lloyd was staring down at him with scary intensity.

"Rhonda?" he questioned nervously, he couldn't recall having seen that look in her eyes before, and it was causing him to panic.

Rhonda blinked as he said her name, and dropped to her knees beside him, "Oh my darling, are you okay?" she cooed gently, taking his head into her arms and rocking him slightly.

His eyes darted from Rhonda's face, to Rhonda's arms, and back to her eyes, and he decided immediately that he might like to just close his eyes and enjoy this moment forever. However, she was eyeing him expectantly, so he figured she was in want of a response, "Um... uhhh..." was all he managed to articulate.

Frowning with concern, Rhonda ran the back of her hand across his cheek, "Are you hurt, my dear?" she asked with a loving smile, "Might I kiss it better?"

Curly shook his head and jumped to his feet, his entire mind reeling from the entire fact that this was _truly happening_, "Ah, no, that's alright Rhonda." he assured her, still trying to process how intensely different her behaviour had become, "Why... did you pull me in here?"

"Oh my darling, I could wait no longer!" Rhonda declared dramatically, approaching him again and wrapping her arms around his waist, "I have been so very reluctant to express my emotions to you, but I cannot deny them any longer!" she peered up at him through her thick black lashes, her eyes sparkling with emotion, "I love you more than I love 60's fashion!"

Curly simply stared at her, not only could he barely process what he was hearing, he actually couldn't believe Rhonda actually liked him, no wait, _loved him_. Sure, he might have come off as confident, and certainly he had tried very hard to convince himself of her affections, but there had always been a _lot_ of doubt.

"With the little pearl box hats...?" Rhonda continued, pulling away a little to look at him curiously.

Curly blinked, and it took him a few moments to discern that she was still on the topic of 60's fashion, and loving him, and how that _somehow_ was interconnected. Or simply made a good metaphor, he couldn't be entirely certain.

"And the bold prints...?" Rhonda urged, her hands slipping from his body to motion toward her skirt, which did have rather bold prints, he had to agree, but all he could do was tilt his head slightly in complete silence, "White lipstick? Eyeliner?" she pushed.

When all he did was continue frowning, and feeling overwhelmed, Rhonda waved a dismissive hand and shrugged, "Doesn't matter." she assured him, and without a moments warning, she pushed up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips.

Curly was unable to move, or respond, for an uncertain period of time, before his instincts took over and he and Rhonda were engaged in what could only be described as the most frantic make-out session since... _ever_. It continued this way, through heavy breathing, kicked over mop buckets and the search for walls to press backs against, before a distressing thought hit Curly – it was _too easy_.

Rhonda liked him, Rhonda loved him, Rhonda dragged him into a Janitors Closet to make-out with him... but it was all because of a potion, and it felt immoral. Somewhere, deep down, he was disappointed he hadn't stuck with his resolve, pursued her under their normal state of being and, for once, approached their relationship in a _normal, sane_ manner.

Slowly, he pulled away, with every intention of discussing this with Rhonda calmly, and administering the antidote to her. However, Rhonda grasped at his shoulders the moment he moved, and pulled him back toward her, her arms slipping around his neck. Curly groaned, and his arms moved on their own accord, wrapping firmly around her waist whilst, internally, he cursed himself for being so weak.

With great determination, and even greater disappointment, Curly pushed away harder the second time, holding her firmly at arm's length. Rhonda pouted and shot him a look of dissatisfaction, to which Curly shook his head and attempted to explain.

"Rhonda, my love, I adore you greatly." he assured her, and the pout dissipated slightly, "It's just that I have very important things to do right now."

Rhonda scoffed, "More important than _this_?" she challenged incredulously.

Curly nodded, "Sadly." he confirmed, and Rhonda returned immediately to pouting, this time with the added trick of stroking his cheek and leaning in close to his ear.

"I cannot imagine _anything_ being more important than this." she whispered softly, her lips brushing against the skin of his neck, and even though he knew she was trying to weaken his resolve, he felt himself being swayed by her argument.

Shaking his head, and regaining his wits, Curly frowned, "No, no, Rhonda I need to make an antidote." he insisted.

Rhonda shuffled back a little, staring up at him with a curious expression, "Antidote?" she questioned, "To what?"

Curly sighed and let his back fall against the wall behind him, "To the love potion I put in the strawberry shake mix." he muttered.

"You drugged the shake mix?" Rhonda gasped in horror, then paused and glared, "Wait, you drugged _me_?"

Wincing, Curly nodded and jumped into an apology immediately, "I am truly sorry, my Princess." he promised her earnestly, grasping for her hands.

Rhonda stepped backward and avoided his grasp, "So half our classmates are under some kind of 'love spell' right now?"

"It was an accident!" Curly insisted loudly, before looking at the ground bashfully and, very quietly, wondering, "Are you mad?"

She frowned at him, but shook her head, "I would _like_ to be mad." she whined a little, before stepping forward and gracing his cheek with a kiss, "_But_, I'm currently finding it impossible."

Feeling incredibly guilty, Curly grasped for her hands again and this time she obliged, "I'm sorry." he assured her once more, "I will make the antidote and then you'll be free to be as angry with me as you like."

Rhonda sighed, and flipped her hair across her shoulders before resting her head on his chest, "Somehow, I don't think I'll be angry then, either." she half-murmured into the fabric.

Curly blinked and stared down at her, "Huh?"

"I... I think I'm _glad_ this happened..." she admitted, glancing up shyly at him in a volatile way he had never seen from her before, "I _was_ being very stubborn, after all."

Grinning, Curly hugged her tightly and let himself breathe a sigh of relief but Rhonda wiggled slightly and loosed his grip. "Hey, don't look so pleased with yourself!" she insisted as she leaned back to look him in the eyes, "We have a big problem to fix still!"

Curly nodded in understanding, and tried not to fixate _too_ much on the fact that she had said 'we' and not 'you'. Still, either way she was correct, the primary mission at this moment was to escape through the corridor before the end of lunch. However, that was not going to happen, as halfway through his thoughts on the matter, the bell had rung loudly.

"Darn, now the hallways will be swarming." he groaned, "We'll never make it out unnoticed."

Rhonda smirked at him, "_Well_... we could wait in here until everybody has made it to class and cleared the corridors..." she suggested.

Curly sighed, not entirely certain as for the slightly evil look on Rhonda's face at the present moment, "That will take at least fifteen minutes..." he reminded her.

Apparently, she was well aware of that fact, as she grinned and nodded at his assessment, "But, I can think of a good way to pass the time." she suggested, and once more her lips were on his.


	10. Hopes and Antidotes

A/N: Thanks for your patience - end of semester exams & projects kept getting in the way of my updating time!

* * *

Curly wondered, as they made their way through town, why Rhonda Wellington Lloyd of all people was currently letting herself and the person in her presence, hurry down the streets of Hillwood in such a highly unfashionable manner. For starters, there was absolutely no doubt that the very fast manner in which they were moving would be classified as rushing, and if there was one thing a respectable Lloyd did _not_ partake in - it was power walking. Next, there was the notably disheveled mess that had become of their respective outfits; caused by countless impromptu make-out sessions and Rhonda's constant clinging to his arm.

Rhonda's dress, which was no doubt an expensive and exclusive Capirini original, had shifted over her hips at an angle so awkward that Curly was struggling to determine if the back was halfway around the front, or vice versa. Her long jet-black hair, known for its sleek straightness, was frizzed at the back from his hands, and if she were able to see the state of her fringe in the mirror right now, she would surely be horrified.

Personally, Curly had noted an uncomfortable stickiness clinging to his skin in various places - most notably hands, cheeks and lips. One swipe with his tongue had confirmed the presence of sugary lemonade lip-gloss was to blame. His shirt had been clawed and bunched up, twisted around fingers and creased in the palms of feminine hands. As the child of launderers, he was very aware that it would simply never be the same again - not that he was overly concerned.

"Thaddeus..." Rhonda piped up beside him, causing Curly to startle from his blissful stock-take of their garments. Her head rested against his shoulder lightly as they fast approached their destination. "Where exactly are we going?"

Curly carefully considered his response, so as to ensure it sounded as impressive and not-so-mad-scientist as absolutely possible. "To my lab!" he declared after a moments contemplation - and promptly scrunched his nose up at the choice of expression.

Raising and eyebrow and pulling backward from his shoulder slightly, Rhonda shook her head, "Very mad scientist." she pointed out dryly. He further screwed his face in displeasure, because really, he had _so very much_ wanted to avoid the mad scientist thing. "_But_, the nerd look is in this season."

Refusing to be outdone, he scoffed loudly in protest, "I'm _always_ in fashion, my princess." he retorted confidently. The comment earned him a serious roll of her eyes in response but, seeing as she followed it up by pressing her face back into his shoulder, he hardly cared. His eyes trailed down to the sight of her cheek pressed against his shirt and her hair tickling the skin of his arm, "I think I will miss this once you've taken the antidote..." he mumbled wistfully.

Rhonda raised her head from his shoulder slowly, and intently studied the expression on his face. "I'll keep that in mind." she promised him, "Now, where is this 'lab'?"

Having been closing in on their intended destination for the past few moments, Madame Blanche's brightly decorated storefront was now visible in the near distance. Curly waved a hand in the general direction until Rhonda's eyes flickered to the dimly lit, over-decorated, front window filled with displays of dream catchers and questionable herbs. "Madame Blanche's...?" she asked slowly for confirmation, a slight look of resignation etched across her face.

"Good resources." he explained simply with a casual shrug. '_Good;_ possibly being an understatement, as if he'd not had access to Madame Blanche's admittedly odd collection of ingredients, he'd never have been able to successfully brew the potion. Madame Blanche was also possibly the _only_ adult in Hillwood crazy enough to let Curly Gammelthorpe, of all people, conduct scientific processes on her premises.

Madame Blanche's deeply green painted wooden door came within reach, and Curly pushed it open before motioning for Rhonda to enter the mystic shop. Following close behind her, they both paused when Madame Blanche tore her eyes away from what appeared to be a heavily beaded headdress she was sewing. She studied the two teens with great interest from her place behind the patterned desk, "Afternoon, children." she greeted them airily. "Do you have a vial for me?" she questioned, her eyes moving to focus on Curly.

Despite the logical conclusion that allowing the potion into the hands of yet another person was possibly far from ideal, Curly _had_ promised her. So, wriggling a hand into his closest pocket, he drew out one of the remaining vials of the Love Potion. "I'm making an antidote now..." he informed her as he tossed the sealed tube in her direction. "Once I've mixed it, you might want to take some of that, too."

Madame Blanche caught the thrown vial with ease, and inspected the liquid as she flipped the tube over in her hands. "Oh?" she responded with an interested quirk of her eyebrow, "And why might _that_ be?"

"It's pretty potent." he explained flatly.

Her immediate response was a sharp laugh, her eyes flickering in Rhonda's direction as she spoke, "Yes, I can _see_ that it's potent, my child."

Curly shrugged in defeat, her point was entirely valid. Rhonda, however, didn't see to see it that way, "Oh _please_." she scoffed with offense at the older woman's words, "I have full control over my actions."

"Rhonda... you're attached to my arm like your life depends on it..." Curly almost laughed, but bit back the urge. Her expression showed defiance and she shrugged, although still gripping at his arm like he might slip away any moment. Assuming she hadn't realized the full extent of her actions, Curly motioned toward her torso, "_Even though _it's creasing your Caprini dress..."

Rhonda looked down slowly, her face flooding with panic and her eyes growing wide as she took in the view of her skewed garment. She groaned loudly, in a _very_ un-Lloyd-like manner, "I need antidote." she griped bitterly.

Curly managed to detach himself slightly, tugging his arm free enough to made way toward the stairwell and pull Rhonda along into his basement lab. She followed closely behind him as they descended the stairs and entered the makeshift lab. Curly motioned toward a small seat in the far corner of the dimly lit room, "Might want to sit in the chair, my princess, in-case there are explosions."

"Demanding son of a-" she began to mumble to herself as she wandered into the corner, shooting him a displeased look. She huffed as she sat down into the chair, "And here I was thinking you'd bend to my every whim once I was your girlfriend."

"_Girlfriend_?" the incredulous question flew from his mouth immediately, and the hands which had been reaching for a bunch of necessary ingredients fell to his sides. His sudden movements almost caused a small beaker to fall from a nearby shelf.

Rhonda tilted her head and sat up straighter in her chair, "Of course!" she insisted impatiently, her normal demanding and confident tone clear as day. Curly nodded and turned back toward the cabinet, gathering the ingredients and setting them onto his workbench. He had just poured half a cup of lemon juice when he heard her small voice pick up again, her tone now wavering with uncertainty, "I am... right? Your girlfriend?" and with that, she promptly burst into tears.

Considering that she hadn't so much as sniffled since fourth grade, Curly was momentarily startled into a motionless silence. Whilst his initial reaction was to offer her comfort, more than likely in the form of kisses or affectionate hugs, she clearly needed him to finish his current task. "You need antidote..." he said with concern, frowning as he reached for the next ingredient, "I promise, I'll be quick."

Sniffling into her hands, Rhonda nodded and watched on as he shuffled around preparing and adding ingredients. It took no more than five or six more minutes, and a few quick slices and drops of carefully planned ingredients, and the potion began bubbling happily over the Bunsen burner. Curly scooped up a good dosage of a local herb, perfect to negate the stimulant chemical he utilized in the initial potion, and added it to the beaker to complete the antidote.

Quickly scanning Phoebe's calculations one final time, double-checking the correct dull blue colour had been achieved and inspecting the consistency of the liquid now resting on the bench top, Curly assured himself that the process was successfully complete. Rhonda, who had meandered over during his final evaluation, looked at him hopefully as he poured a liberal portion into a nearby plastic cup and handed it to her to consume. Without any hesitation, she sipped the entirety of the the cup's contents all at once before looking down at her hands expectantly. Curly didn't bother pointing out that her hands really had nothing to do with the potions success, and instead went about pouring vials of the antidote.

"Thaddeus Gammelthorpe!" Rhonda's voice cried out not two minutes later, breaking the peaceful silence of the lab and making Curly wince. He looked up from the vial he had been preparing and was met with the frightening glare of an angry Lloyd. "I will simply _never _be able to get these creases out!" she hissed. Her hands tugged as she twisted her dress helplessly, attempting to flatten and re-position her poor designer garment.

Curly grinned, "Antidote works faster than expected..." he noted proudly, honestly very impressed with his handiwork. Phoebe's too, to be fair. "How do you feel, my princess?"

Rhonda pursed her lips, "I feel fine." she grumbled, still notably displeased, "Aside from the _horror_ of my ruined designer dress!". Her hands ran over the creases yet again, slowly smoothing them down, "I'm not feeling the potion anymore..." she continued as she managed to have the dress sit correctly on her hips once more. "No uncontrollable urges - I could easily resume my prior indifference toward you."

"_Oh..."_ Curly managed to force out, and although he could not see his reflection, he was certain his face had paled. Perhaps not giving her the antidote wouldn't have been _too_ unethical and he could-

"I'm not going to." she said promised with a gentle smile. Curly blinked and probably looked confused. "Charade is over - I'm Curly's girl... should I get a t-shirt?" she laughed a little at her joke but stopped short when he didn't respond.

She barely had time to tilt her head with concern before he wrapped her up into a tight hug, grinning as his arms held her tightly around the waist. Unintentionally, he lifted her slightly off the ground and she cried out in protest, "The dress, Thaddeus! You're _creasing_ my Caprini dress!"

Curly regained his wits and set her back onto solid ground, unwrapping his arms from around her to grab for the vials lined up on his lab bench top. Dropping the antidote mixture into his bag, he extended his arm toward Rhonda and she immediately slipped her hand into his. "Time to go un-crazy our friends?"

Rhonda nodded.


	11. Announcements and Action

"How exactly do you plan to administer antidote to countless members of our class?" Rhonda suddenly asked, halting mid-stride just inside the double-doors that lead to Hillwood High School's main corridor. Curly, noticing her movement had stilled, stopped himself and turned to face her with a dubious frown on his face.

"It's not _countless_." he defended, reaching down into his bag and rummaging around until his fingers met a thick notepad. Drawing it out, he scanned his eyes quickly over the classmates listed, "There's only... eight."

Rhonda appeared unimpressed, despite the fact that eight was _far_ less than 'countless'. "Fabulous." she responded sarcastically, "Question still stands."

Stuffing the notepad back into its original location, Curly grimaced at his lack of master plan. Curly Gammelthorpe _always_ had a master plan, or at least he usually did... sometimes, maybe. "Hadn't thought that one through..."

Notably remaining unimpressed, Rhonda shook her head. "Here I was thinking you were an evil genius." she mocked dryly.

"I never said that." Curly defended with a charming grin that was _sure_ to disarm her feisty defences. "But thank you, my princess, your high praise is music to my ears" he assured her theatrically. Sadly, her only response was the rolling of her eyes, and not the dramatic swooning he would have liked. Abandoning the charm idea, Curly tapped his finger against the vials in his bag and pursed his lips, "I still don't have a plan, however."

Rhonda eyed the vials carefully, then set her gaze down the long corridor ahead of them, her attention focused in the direction of the school administration block. "Call their names on the PA system." she suggested suddenly, "We can get them to meet us somewhere and th-"

"Are you _crazy_?" Curly swiftly cut in, ignoring the highly hypocritical nature of his question, and shooting her an incredulous look. "That's absolutely..." he promptly trailed off when he was met with a serious glare. Rhonda crossed her arms and silently _dared_ him to think of something better, and when he was certain he couldn't, Curly sighed in defeat, "_Fine_."

Proudly enjoying her wordless victory, Rhonda smirked and tugged at his shirt sleeve. "Alright, to the school office, my twisted little freak." she demanded as she literally _dragged_ him toward their destination.

Curly raised an amused eyebrow as he trailed along, fairly helplessly, behind her. "I do believe, _that_ is Helga's quip." he reminded her matter-of-factly.

"_Oh_, so Helga is allowed pet names but _I_ am not?" Rhonda protested, sounded dramatically upset and placing a hand to her chest as though she were truly wounded.

"I don't think," Curly began, letting out an amused breath of air and _finally_ wriggling his shirt and hand from her grasp as they walked, "that Helga would be happy to hear you refer to her long-standing insult as a _pet name_."

Rhonda hummed lightly in understanding, "Mmm, true, and there's just no way I could take her in a fight." she played along.

Curly shuffled closer to her side, wrapping his previous imprisoned arm around her waist. "I think _'handsome, dashing and heroic beloved' _will do nicely instead." he suggested suavely.

"Yeah, right." Rhonda laughed shortly, narrowing her eyes at him for bothering to voice his opinion on the matter.

Unfortunately, Curly was left no time to sulk, nor to dramatically behave as though his heart had been cruelly broken by her refusal - as they had, at that very moment, arrived at the doors to the administration block. Sliding the doors open, they both stopped a few steps from the front desk, when the office assistant looked up blankly from her work.

"Can I help you?" she asked hollowly, clearly in no way eager to assist anybody with anything.

Rhonda looked indignant at being treated as such, and Curly grimaced at the nasally tone of her voice. "Yes, we need to borrow the PA system t-" Curly began, but stopped abruptly when the woman behind the desk shook her head with distaste.

"Uh, _yes_," Rhonda interjected from beside him, steeping toward the desk, "we will be requiring it."

_Sally_, as her shiny-bright badge read, frowned and leaned back into her over-sized desk chair. "Look here kids," she grumbled, "no using the PA System. Alright?"

Decidedly not '_alright_' with the situation, Rhonda moved forward to prop her elbows onto the desk. Glaring down rather forcefully in Sally's general direction, she began, "Look here, _Sally_, if it weren't for my father's investment in this school you would not even have the privilege of _owning_ a useful PA System. So, I suggest you repay my family's generosity by allowing us an announcement."

Sally seemed contemplative for a split second, but firmly shook her head a moment later. "Miss Lloyd, I see the point you are making b-"

"_And_," Rhonda continued on undeterred, waving a formidable finger in front of the receptionist's eyes, "even if that's not enough to convince you, my boyfriend here has a tendency to disregard authority and he has been known to do some fairly _strange_ things to get what he wants."

Curly nodded earnestly beside her, "One time," he began very seriously, "I bit the head off a chicken."

Appearing to have become slightly concerned, possibly for her own safety in the presence of a chicken be-header, Sally glanced warily over toward a small green door behind them. "Uh... alright..." she relented slowly, pointing behind them in the direction of the door, "Just... make it quick."

Rhonda smiled charismatically, but neglected to make any such promise, before turning to march toward the small room. Upon swinging open the study-looking door, Curly noted that it had been entirely unlocked and vowed that _next time_, he would skip the useless receptionist entirely and simply waltz right on in. Not that he _planned_ on requiring use of the school PA System at any time during the future, of course.

Resting within a specialized holder, was the black and gold microphone, attached to the compact PA System unit with the flashing red light. Curly had to admit, it _was_ a fabulous quality system for a public high school - although, it did beg the question as to _why_ the Lloyd's were funding state-of-the-art PA Systems whilst the students ate days-old meat for lunch. He immediately decided, however, not to raise that question as he was certain questioning Buckley's priorities would not do him any favors. Instead, he reached for the mike as Rhonda pressed a perfectly manicured nail against the flashing red _'SPEAK'_ button.

Curly cleared his throat loudly, and began his announcement. "Attention, fellow students, could the following people please gather in the school cafeteria after the final study period today. Lila Sawyer, Stinky Peterson, Sid Gifaldi, Harold Berman, Eugene Horowitz, Sheena Smith, Park Toji, Arnold Shortman, Gerald Johanssen, Phoebe Heyerdahl and Robert Podminecki."

"Cafeteria. _Immediately_ after the final bell." Rhonda's voice demanded, and it took a few good seconds for Curly to fully process that she had swiped the microphone from his hands at the finish of his own announcement. She finished with a curt, "Thank you." and hung the microphone back on its holder.

Curly roamed his eyes around the small office space, and out of the nearby window to the empty courtyard. "What exactly do we do now?" he wondered aloud.

"Wait in the cafeteria." Rhonda said with a shrug, heading toward the green door in order to exit the room.

"What?" Curly gaped in response, "For another _hour_?"

Rhonda grinned back at him, "Yes, for another hour." she informed him confidently.

Without a doubt being the prime example of somebody who did _not_ handle neither waiting nor the associated boredom, with any finesse - Curly groaned loudly at the mere thought of sitting in an empty cafeteria for an entire sixty minutes. "It will be boring." he all but whined.

"Haven't you learnt yet, Curly?" Rhonda asked with a loud sigh and a shake of her head. Grasping his hand firmly, and tugging him from the PA System room, and out of the administration block, she elaborated, "We have _perfectly_ good ways to occupy ourselves, remember?

Curly blinked dumbly for a few moments, before vividly recalling the earlier waiting period spent in the confines of the Janitor's Closet. In that case, he decided, he was happy to wait once more.

* * *

A/N: Helga x Arnold goodness is coming up next chapter :)


	12. Apologies and Affections

Hillwood High School was calm and quiet, just moments before the final siren of the day was due to sound. In school cafeteria sat an incredibly, definitely _not_ bored, but fidgeting Curly Gammelthorpe, with Rhonda Wellington Lloyd snuggled into his chest. His eyes flickered to the clock above the food service area, mentally '_tick, tick__'-_ing in his head to match the slow movement of the second-hand.

Rhonda stirred slightly on his lap, twisting a lock of her dark hair between her fingers and looking up at him blankly. "I'm bored of waiting." she finally admitted, and Curly grinned. His initial thought was to sing-song an _I told you so_ in response, but the sound they had been waiting hours to hear, pierced through the silence and his eyes darted toward the cafeteria doors.

Nadine peered through the large double doors, seconds after the sounding of the final siren, and with her followed a slightly pensive looking Peapod. Their hands were tightly intertwined with each others as they made their way toward Curly and Rhonda.

"I am uncertain as to the purpose of this... terribly, terribly uncharacteristic gathering..." Peapod began as they approached.

Nadine nodded, "Yeah and I really need to go feed my Tarantula..." she paused when she noted Rhonda's legs resting in Curly's lap. She studied her two friends silently for a brief moment before speaking again, "Uh, Rhonda, what's going on here?"

"_Okay, okay!_"Rhonda huffed dramatically, throwing her hands into the air as if in surrender. "So _maybe_ you were right all along and I _might_ like him." she conceded.

Curly shifted a little and raised an eyebrow, "_Might_?" he challenged in mock offense. Rhonda's face softened and she opened her mouth, presumably to offer some sort of quiet reassurance, when the slamming noise of the cafeteria doors sounded again.

Gerald and Phoebe stumbled into view, the doors clanging as they shut behind them, whilst the both of them were literally attached at the lips. Nadine, Peapod and Rhonda watched unblinkingly as Phoebe shuffled backward, Gerald's hands resting on her hips, as they searched blindly for an empty table.

"I wonder how they manage to walk like that..." Curly mused as Phoebe's legs hit an empty seat, and the two dropped down to sit, still continuing their intense lip-locking session. Phoebe pulled back for mere seconds, seemingly pausing to take a deep breath, before Gerald managed to ambush her once more.

Rhonda smiled, "Oh, how _adorable_." she cooed at the couple, who had not even so much as batted an eyelash at their surroundings.

"Do they even realize we're _here_?" Nadine wondered.

Curly grinned, and shrugged his shoulders, "Can't be certain." he responded. "Possibly not."

Suddenly, their attention was drawn from the public display of affection, and back toward the doorway as Lila and Stinky stepped inside, hand in hand. Sid trailed in not long after them, looking seriously displeased.

"Curly, what are we _doing_ here?" he questioned impatiently, his eyes wandering to the clock as he straightened his leather jacket. "I was gonna take... Maria out for ice cream, no, wait... maybe it was Melissa? Or-"

Harold, at that moment, burst into the cafeteria and came close to bowling Sid over in the process. Sid stumbled backward slightly and Harold took little notice, instead waving his fist around in Curly's direction. "This better be important, Curly!" Harold warned, or rather _whined_, the moment he caught his breath. Sid, meanwhile, brushed off his jacket once more and shot Harold a dirty look for the near-accident.

Lila placed a calming hand Harold's shoulder and shook her head, looking between the two boys with a cautionary stare. "I'm certain Thaddeus will have a good reason for calling us here." she reprimanded them gently, pointing toward an empty table. "Now, do be ever so kind and perhaps find a seat."

Stinky smiled, and lead Lila over to sit opposite Nadine and Peapod, whilst Sid and Harold grumbled under their breath a little before placing themselves at the next table over. Three tables back from everybody else, Gerald and Phoebe remained utterly oblivious to their surroundings.

"Uh, Miss Rhonda?" Stinky spoke up as he settled into his seat, "Whatya doin' sittin' in Curly's lap all friendly-like?"

Rhonda pouted, "What is so _wrong_ with me wanting to be near Curly?" she sulked.

"Yeah!" Curly grinned, rather amused by the situation, "I'm not the plague!"

Sid, who had been sitting with head in hands and eyes on the clock, looked over and shrugged. "Nothing's _wrong_." he clarified plainly, "It's just a little weird."

"Yeah." Stinky nodded, "On a counta you think he's a geek."

Rhonda had no time to answer, as Sheena waltzed into the cafeteria at that very moment, smiling sweetly "Hello everyone," she greeted airily, "I hope I'm not late."

Shaking her head, Nadine twisted to face her and smiled. "No, we only just got here." she assured her politely, "It's fine."

"Where's Eugene?" Sid asked, tapping his fingers against the table. Curly's eyes lingered on the space beside Sheena, which was usually filled by her constant side-kick, and now boyfriend, Eugene.

Sheena motioned beyond the cafeteria doors, out toward the hallway area. "Eugene and Park are on their way." she promised with another airy smile, "They've just got some things to discuss."

Quickly scanning the available tables, Sheena sat herself down one row back from Lila and Stinky, as Eugene and Park made their entry. Park was nodding as they entered, smiling at something Eugene had said, and stopping to offer his hand for Eugene to shake. Eugene happily accepted the gesture, shaking Park's hand, with a smile of his own. Both then meandered over toward Sheena, Park sitting opposite her and Eugene sliding in next to Sheena and placing an arm around her waist.

Curly shifted Rhonda from his lap, standing and noting the present attendees, his eyes lazily wandering over the list of names on his scribbled list. He cleared his throat, "Alright, we can begin... wait, where's Arnold?"

Gerald, for the very first time since entering the cafeteria, broke away from Phoebe and looked up. "I haven't seen him since just after we ate lunch..." he said with a halfhearted shrug.

Frowning, Curly noted that everybody else looked just as confused, and clearly hadn't seen him recently either. Thankfully, any questions were answered moments later when Arnold and Helga, without grace, tumbled through the doorway and into the cafeteria. Silence enveloped the room, as everybody stared wordlessly at them; both standing with their arms pressed together, hair a mess and clothes twisted and scrunched.

Helga, looking noticeably pale and weary, panted slightly and placed a hand to her clearly swollen face. "Okay, what'd we miss?" she asked breathlessly.

"I think we could ask _you_ the same thing." Rhonda pointed out bluntly, raising an eyebrow at their disheveled state.

Arnold and Helga, both turning to each other and noting their general appearances, blushed and went momentarily silent. Gerald, who had been gaping at the two since their arrival, suddenly stood and looked at Arnold with a triumphant grin. "A-ha! I _told_ you!" he declared, "I _knew _you secretly had it bad for Pataki!"

"Gerald!" Arnold protested loudly, groaning and dropping his head into his hands.

Phoebe startled, and glanced up at Gerald in slight confusion, "You _did_?" she asked.

Gerald nodded proudly, "Yeah, of course... I mean, it was always - _I'm Arnold and I'm never mad at anyone, except Helga._" he mimicked his best friend in an unrealistic, and incredibly annoying, high pitched whining tone. "_Helga makes me mad. Why is Helga doing that? I'm sure she's nice, no wait, I hate her. Helga, Helga, Helga!_" he finished enthusiastically. Arnold shot him a glare and Gerald scoffed, "Face it man, it's true."

Mumbling, something about never telling Gerald anything again, Arnold trudged his way over to Gerald and Phoebe's table, with Helga close behind. Pointedly ignoring Gerald, much like a sulking child, he pulled Helga into his lap and held her close. Phoebe, meanwhile, eyed Helga's unhealthy appearance with grave concern as the tall blonde settled into Arnold's embrace. "Helga, are you perhaps unwell?" she asked gently, "Your features appear abnormally pale."

Helga sighed loudly, "Yeah, I'm fine _now_." she assured Phoebe, then proceeded to shoot a murderous glare directly at Curly. "But thanks for putting your creepy hormone liquid into the _strawberry_ shake, you nut job!"

"Wait!" Curly blurted out, rather astounded, "How the heck do you _know_ that?"

Helga scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Oh please, not like it takes a genius to figure it out." she griped. "Its not every day I end up in anaphylactic show because Football Head tries to shove his tongue down my throat and-"

"Helga!" Arnold interrupted, a slight blush colouring his face, "I did not do... _that_!"

"Ha! Yeah, whatever." she responded, shaking her head. "Anyway, don't think I don't know Rhonda's favourite shake flavour is strawberry, _or_ that you've been doing weirdo science calculations with Phoebe for months. Well played, twisted little freak, well played."

Curly bowed dramatically, and held a hand to his heart, "Why _thank you_ Miss Pataki, your praise humbles me greatly."

"Hold up a minute!" Gerald protested quickly, frowning at Curly. "What _liquid_?"

Phoebe, still sitting at their table, appeared to be reassessing and compiling Helga's words into evidence, and deducing her own conclusion. She nodded as she mumbled facts back to herself, "Yes... the calculations... the shake... Curly!"

"Okay, okay..." Curly interrupted quickly, as murmurs began to spread through the crowd of his childhood friends. "So my dear friends, it is highly like that your various romantic forays today have been a direct result of a little special something added to the strawberry shake mix."

Harold rubbed a palm against his forehead, his brow creased in confusion. "What? I don't quite get it?" he complained.

Phoebe rose to her feet, "I must conclude, Harold; that Curly means to say he produced a serum designed to enhance our romantic desires, which he then proceeded to test upon our classmates..." she surmised. Harold, of course, remained confused.

Curly crossed his arms defiantly, "Woah, don't get carried away." he defended. "It was entirely an accident that it ended up in _everybody's_ strawberry shake - it was only meant for Rhonda."

"Garsh, Curly..." Stinky said slowly, running a hand through his short hair and appearing rather conflicted. "That's pretty..."

Lila nodded, "Just... oh too..." she struggled for the correct words.

"_Totally_ unfair!" Arnold insisted loudly, his eyes narrowed at Curly.

Unfortunately for Arnold, nobody seemed to feel a great deal of empathy toward his situation, and most simply rolled their eyes. "Arnold, let's be honest here," Curly sighed, "you had denial issues so bad you should really be making me a thank you card right now."

Arnold appeared ready to argue, when Helga raised an eyebrow, and he immediately deflated. "Maybe." he finally mumbled out.

"_Actually_," Curly continued rather confidently, "I think you should all be writing me thank you letters and I absolutely expect special mentions at _all_ of your weddings!"

Collective murmurs and whispers erupted from the group, in a mutual effort to conclude whether they in fact hated, or loved, Curly at this particular point in time. Rhonda looked up at him worriedly, and Curly shrugged nonchalantly, they'd certainly all forgive him in time.

"I think the stuff is great." Sid announced loudly, pulling a few dozen phone numbers from his jacket pocket.

Lila paused, looking thoughtful, "It did give me a little extra courage." she admitted.

Gerald grinned, "I've had a damn good day." he piped up, causing Phoebe to blush and Helga to roll her eyes.

Quickly, Rhonda sprang to her feet, moving to stand beside Curly on the cafeteria table and crossing her arms with a huff. She frowned unhappily at the small crowd of friends, "Woah, woah!" she interrupted the discussion. "You cant just let him get away with it _that_ easy," she protested, "he drugged you!"

Curly snicked, and Stinky and Sid soon chuckled along with him. "Aw, Miss Rhonda," Stinky drawled, "you're just bothered on a counta you finally had to admit ya like Curly."

"Yeah." Sid snorted with an amused grin, "Who'd have thought!"

Rhonda gasped in offense, "No, I am _not_ bothered about that..." she attempted to defend, but it fell on deaf ears and she sighed in defeat, "well, only a _little_."

Curly shook his head, peering at Rhonda and silently confirming she was finished her impromptu rebellion against his cause. Rhonda looked at him sulkily and he pressed a quick kiss against her forehead, "Calm, my princess." he said soothingly. "Now..." he continued loudly, turning toward those gathered at the cafeteria tables, "who wants antidote?"

Various answers of the affirmative were uttered from the crowd, and slowly Curly and Rhonda administered antidote potions to each every affected classmate. Curly, of course, withheld antidote from Arnold until the very last moment, simply for the pleasure of seeing him smell Helga's hair, hold her tight and stoke the skin of her hand, and being entirely unable to stop - much to Arnold's annoyance and Gerald's amusement.

And so, from there onward, everything at Hillwood High School returned to much the same as it had always been but with the addition of some new, very happy, couples.

* * *

A/N: Next up is the Epilogue.


	13. Epilogues and Endings

Thaddeus Gammelthorpe, now no longer known as _Curly _and more commonly as Thad, sauntered down the wide, oak trimmed, college hallway toward his shared dormitory. Outside door '307', he paused to flip open the combination latch on the rooms letterbox, peering in at a small collection of letters. Flipping past general bills, a letter from Phil and Gertie for Arnold and Gerald's sporting magazine subscription - he laid eyes on three identical, shiny and decorative looking, envelopes. Tearing open the one addressed to himself, Thad laid eyes upon his official invitation to Eugene Horowitz and Sheena Smith's upcoming summer nuptials.

Managing to barely sweep it up before it hit the ground, he inspected the small piece of notepaper that had been tucked behind the invitation itself. _Thanks, Thad_, it said in Eugene's neatly looped handwriting, _for giving us that little push we needed back in high school_. Thad grinned and shoved the note into his jeans pocket. Although his classmates had essentially forgiven him rather quickly for the Love Potion mishap, it had taken substantial time to regain their general trust - especially anywhere with drinks nearby. However, their good opinions had thus far been mainly restored - helped immensely by the fact that each and every couple that had resulted from the milkshake dilemma were still happily together.

Of course, Thad had personally never truly _doubted_ such a result. After all, the love potion was painstakingly brewed to ensure only the deepest, and strongest, of affections could be detected. He had, however, been forced to accept that it did not, and possibly could not, ever achieve a magically fated success rate of one hundred percent accuracy. In both the case of Park and Madame Blanche, the potion had merely identified strong, yet one-sided, affections - and to both of them he had sincerely apologized. Luckily, after some time, they had each happily moved on and found their match with somebody else. Nonetheless, Thad had undoubtedly learned his lesson, and despite becoming more interested in Chemistry in general, he sought to remain well clear of any personality-altering creations. He also never again tested on any unwilling or unwitting participants.

Thad slipped the ornate invitation back into the decorative envelope, and shimmied his keys into the lock. Gerald vehemently insisted that the dormitory be locked, by key, at all times no matter who was home. Both Thad and Arnold strongly suspected it was a fear borne from constantly losing any unguarded possessions to Jamie-O for so many years. Pushing the door open, he shuffled inside, and was greeted by the smell of dinner cooking. As per usual, the occupancy of their small dormitory had doubled in size, with the roommates' three girlfriends all present. Rhonda, Helga and Phoebe spent far more of their time visiting, and sleeping at, the boy's place rather than their own respective rooms.

Phoebe, who appeared to be chopping vegetables behind the kitchen counter, passed a small bowl to Gerald over at the stove as Thad entered. Gerald tipped the ingredients into what appeared to be soup and stirred carefully. Meanwhile, Arnold and Helga were cuddled closely together on the soft couch, looking as adorably vomit-inducing as usual. Nobody, however, would be unwise enough as to _tell_ Helga that she and her boyfriend were any such thing. She took none too kindly to being in any way described as 'adorable', especially to levels that induced vomiting. Rhonda, across the room, was tucked up in the new leather armchair - one she had personally purchased for her own exclusive use whilst visiting. Thad, and everybody else, might have considered asking her why she did not simply remain at her expensive, modern, and well-furnished, inner-city apartment rather than buying extra chairs for _their_ dormitory - but that, however, was about as unwise a thing to do as it was to insinuate that Helga and Arnold were adorable.

During Thad's entry, Rhonda's eyes flicked up from the glossy pages of _Vogue Weekly _and moved toward the doorway, whereupon seeing him she smiled excitedly.

"Eugene and Sheena's wedding invitations have arrived." he announced as he kicked the door shut behind him. Raising the small bundle of mail, still held in his hands, he slipped his open invitation from the pile and offered it in Rhonda's direction.

It was snatched from his hands, by a fast-moving Rhonda, before he even had time to blink and she squealed slightly in delight. Flipping it multiple times, her eyes scanned the creamy-coloured card closely and her brow furrowed in thought. "Decent, I suppose." she announced with finality. "Although, cursive text would have been far more dignified."

Helga, still resting in Arnold's arms on the couch, rolled her eyes. "If they cared about your opinion, they would've asked for it, Princess." she pointed out bluntly. Rhonda screwed up her nose in distaste at the remark, and Helga simply laughed. Despite their differing opinions, and tastes, on just about everything - Rhonda and Helga had grown to become good friends. Not that anybody unfamiliar with them, who might observe their conversations, would ever have believed it.

Over in the kitchen, Gerald grinned and peered up from the boiling pot of soup. "Looks like your meddling continues to pay off, man." he commented, waving the ladle in Thad's general direction.

Phoebe immediately swatted Gerald's hand and directed the wayward utensil back toward the stove-top, before any dripping could occur. "Yes, despite the fact that it was highly unethical," Phoebe noted, as Gerald returned the ladle to its correct place, "I must say I do still commend the fantastic formula work, Thaddeus."

"To be fair, it was really _our_ formula work." Thad pointed out, "You masterminded the tough parts."

Resting the knife against the chopping board, Phoebe pursed her lips in thought. "Revolutionary, really." she said proudly, fondly recalling her unwitting work in developing such an efficient chemical blend. "Think of all the things we could have achieved."

Helga scoffed, "Yeah, yeah," she griped, "but _why_ the strawberry!"

"You think _that_ was bad?" Gerald challenged, not entirely seriously, from his spot across the room. "I had muscle strain in my jaw for weeks after that day!" he complained, rubbing the palm of his hand against his jaw with a mournful expression. "I can still feel the pain every time I remember it."

Shrugging, Phoebe handed him more ingredients. "Teenage passion does pose quite a number of personal safety risks, indeed." she agreed in all seriousness.

"Yeah," Arnold mumbled, "like Helga slapping me in the face."

If he was looking for pity, he did not receive it, and instead Helga smirked whilst Thad and Gerald burst into laughter. Placing the mail onto a nearby surface, Thad slumped down into Rhonda's fashionable, and surprisingly comfortable, armchair and drew his girlfriend onto his lap. "Helga slapped you that day?" he asked, as he made himself comfortable.

Helga, now grinning proudly, nodded. "Twice." she confirmed.

"_Twice_." Arnold repeated pointedly.

Soup currently forgotten, Gerald stopped chuckling long enough to ask, "For _what_?"

Arnold, who was now playing with a strand of Helga's long blonde hair, sighed and looked thoughtful. "Well, the first time was when I tried to kiss her in the corridor." he recalled.

"Which was _completely_ fair," Helga swiftly interrupted, motioning with her hands as she did whenever in debate, "because you came out of nowhere and attacked me!"

Phoebe, now returned to the task of chopping, nodded along with Helga's defense. "Ambushes do tend to be taken as a threat to one's personal safety." she noted.

Completely aware that he stood no chance of winning the current argument, Arnold wisely moved on. "Anyway, the second time was once she realised I had eaten, or... drank, strawberries." he said, rather apologetically, for which he received a smile and a quick kiss on the cheek from Helga.

"Helga!" Phoebe protested in astonishment, "You were going into _anyphylactic shock_ and you used your limited remaining energy to _slap_ Arnold?"

Helga shrugged casually, "Blame the adrenaline."

Rhonda, meanwhile, who had been continuing her detailed assessment of the invitation for much of the discussion, shifted in Thad's lap. "Well, I have no idea what you're all complaining about," she defended confidently, "I personally had a fantastic time that day... aside from the wrinkled dress."

Throwing his hands up in exasperation, Thad shook his head. "I fixed that dress for you," he reminded her, not for the first time, "the _very_ next day!"_  
_

"Yes, thank you darling." Rhonda assured him, rolling her eyes with mock annoyance and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Oh, you know what, maybe I will wear that dress to Sheena's hens night!" she announced, "For old times sake."

Grinning, Thad put on his best _Curly_ voice and exclaimed, "_And then_, you could dose all the strippers up on love potion and see what happens!"

"No!" was the resounding response.

* * *

**_Finito_**

* * *

A/N: Okay, so just to clear some things up - this story (like I mentioned in the initial disclaimer) is in no way supposed to have _any_ basis in reality. It's just a random, crazy idea that I could have a little bit of silly fun with. Mainly, for me, it was a chance to explore and play with Curly & Rhonda's characters/relationship in preparation for a (not so unrealistic) chapter-fic idea I have that features them both as main characters. That is also why you don't see a lot of Arnold & Helga in this story, because they were simply not my focus this time around!

Anyhow, I hope that answers your questions and, as usual, **thank you to everybody who read & reviewed**!

Oh, and the first chapter of my next chapter-fic (which looks like it will be either 'Carry You' or 'The Temple Walls') will be up sometime soon :)


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